juliet's story

A reluctance to go to school at the age of about 8 seems now to be a signpost we should have seen. It coincided with Juliet being overweight, which she was for two years or more. At the age of 11 Juliet decided she should go vegetarian. Another signpost. By 12 Juliet’s mother was starting to worry, but thought she was being over anxious. A year later we tried to get Juliet to agree to an assessment at Princess Margaret Hospital’s Eating Disorders clinic in Christchurch, New Zealand, where we live. Juliet agreed eventually, but managed to convince the people there was nothing wrong. We continued to feel that there was. Some of her friends and some teachers thought there was. Lynn organized an eating disorders information evening at Juliet’s school, Juliet continued as a vegetarian (”I won’t eat anything with a face”). She seemed happy enough as she starred in numerous plays, revealing over and over a real talent as an actor. But all the while she was not eating enough, developing clever ways of covering up the fact that she was starving herself. Juliet’s confidence seemed to be slipping, however her acting blossomed. This was to be her career. She went to university then drama school.

While at drama school anorexia began to take over Juliet’s life. She became paranoid about her abilities, believing she was no good at anything. She thought her acting tutor believed she had no talent and should give up. She did give up, in a move that now shows us the horror, the power, the consequences of an eating disorder. Juliet joined a costume design course, and graduated. Much later we found out that her acting tutor believed she has a major talent, that she could make a fine career in theatre.

After leaving drama school, Juliet was convinced to go to a therapist in Auckland New Zealand, where she was living. This seemed to achieve virtually nothing.

In 2004 we reached crisis point. We were told by several doctors that the facilities in New Zealand would not take her in as she was not sick enough. Her BMI (body mass index) and her weight, were not low enough, and she was not resident in Christchurch, where the only residential facility is.

We looked overseas and found the Monte Nido center in California. Their approach seemed so different. They seemed so welcoming, so positive, so lovely. Juliet and we were hooked.

The costs seemed so huge at the time, we borrowed heavily, but after three months of excellent progress, that we hoped would be enough, we ran out of money and had to withdraw our daughter. Carolyn Costin, founder and Clinical Director of Monte Nido, was wonderful, helping Juliet into their “transition house”, Bella Mar, by arranging a scholarship.

Juliet was, we can see now, not ready to leave Monte Nido, and she went backwards. Late in 2005 she returned to New Zealand ready to take her own life. She just wanted our permission. Life for her was so horrible, she didn’t want to continue it.

This was the low point of all our lives. We did not, of course give permission, and borrowed even more money to send Juliet to Monte Nido for another month. Again she made progress, but again it was not enough time. Time is the factor, a patient needs lots of it.

Throughout 2006 Juliet more or less coped, with her therapist and still with an association with Monte Nido. She relapsed at the end of that year and with her visa running out she returned to New Zealand, this time to resume her acting career by enrolling in a once a week course. This was an act of courage and showed the determination that amazes everybody about Juliet. She refuses to give up, apart from that time late in 2005.

We tried to get her help in New Zealand, but the state funded system in that country is not geared to help all anorexics, let along a “chronic” patient. Eating disorder services have been of a low priority in New Zealand, despite there being a large and increasing need.

Juliet was failing fast early in 2007, but fell foul of the bureaucracy and it took four months before the Auckland Eating Disorders facility (non residential) would assess her. In the meantime she’d been sent by her doctor to hospital four times. The hospital reydrated her and gave her full cardiac assessment, and, on one occasion, diagnosed her with “hyperventilation syndrome”. Juliet was discharged after one night on each occasion.

Juliet’s views of the experiences she had during this “treatment” you need to read under “Juliet’s Interview.”

Meantime we had tried to get Juliet assessed at the Princess Margaret Hospital facility in Christchurch. We were told it would take some weeks. We were told by the Director of that facility that the fact that Juliet was temporarily living in Auckland should not be a problem.

Juliet was indeed assessed by the Princess Margaret clinic in June 2007. They said her health was precarious and she needed help immediately. They believe they can provide some assistance, but Juliet knows that she needs full time in-patient care as provided at Monte Nido. This, PMH cannot provide this as it's provided at Monte Nido..

The head of that organization told us at our original meeting, that chronic patients like Juliet must be seen as chronic invalids, and cannot expect to be cured, even though his clinic might be able to help in some way. Interestingly the Doctor at the Auckland centre agreed, telling me, in Juliet’s presence, that she must expect a reduced quality of life, and probably a shortened life.

This sounded very like “there’s nothing we can, or are prepared to do.” The man in Christchurch told us one could spend a billion dollars, and surround “one of these people” with a huge team, and still not guarantee a cure.

Is a sufferer like Juliet just too much trouble? What a contrast to the view at Monte Nido, or in the US generally, according to Juliet, where the aim is to offer hope, and find a way to a good future. The staff at Monte Nido are almost all recovered eating disorder people, which seems in itself to prove the point.

There are plans to change the NZ system, but having read a consultation document, “National Framework for Eating Disorder Services”, a change seems unlikely. We struggled to find any vision in the paper. We have been asked to make a submission to the Mental Health authorities. Where do we start?

As Juliet says, why doesn’t someone ask the sufferers, after all they know their illness best, especially their own, but no one in New Zealand has ever asked her, and the “consultation document”, seems to not mention it.

There is one private clinic in New Zealand. Juliet has spent an hour talking with the Clinical Director, and believes it will not work for her. A consultant psychiatrist who works with EDs agrees. It costs NZ$100,000 to go there.