beating the demon

A young Christchurch actor may lose her battle with anorexia this year, yet she wants to produce a one woman show to highlight the lack of help available for eating disorder sufferers in New Zealand.

Juliet Williams is 28. She has fought her eating disorder for 17 years, but her condition has recently worsened. Treatment for what is called “chronic anorexics” is limited in NZ “What I and many others need, is proper understanding of the condition, and residential facilities with holistic 24 hour a day support, available to all sufferers in NZ. Only this sort of treatment will allow us to rid ourselves of this filthy disease, and lead some sort of normal life.”

When Juliet is recovered she is keen to work with a scriptwriter to produce a one woman show. This would be about her struggle with anorexia. Her Godmother, the well known New Zealand actor Helen Moulder, will be her mentor.

The need to get the right treatment is a race against time.

“I just hope I’ll be here to see New Zealand face up to its responsibilities and finally provide comprehensive help for people like me.”

Anorexia wants me to disappear
It wants me to be stunted and silenced
It wants me to age prematurely
It wants me with nothing in my life other than it
Anorexia wants me to shut up and obey and suffer alone
It wishes me harm, hurt and darkness
No light, no life
It presumes that I have no mind and that I am stupid and naïve
It feeds off my brain and my body and wants me dead
It will do anything to achieve its goal. It lies, manipulates, morphs and mutates
It talks to me constantly and does not give me rest
It promises everything I have ever wanted, but in seventeen years it has only taken things away from me
I am a hostage and no one knows where I am.

- Juliet Williams, May 2007

The Daily Nightmare a Mother’s View

My daughter eats 2 small bags of a particular brand of kumara chips per day. These have a minimal number of calories. The kumara chips taste like chaff
.
She exercises by walking hard for an hour every day and I mean hard. She goes to Power Plate 3 times per week. She also walks everywhere she goes.

Juliet has the potential to be a great actor, producer, writer and organizer. But now, as we approach the winter of 2007, she struggles to live.

You may ask, why doesn’t she just eat? Think of it this way. What is the thing that you would be most petrified about? To be stretched on a rack, beaten, deprived of air, to be drowning, dying in a desert? Juliet would rather do any of these than put on weight.

But she does not want to feel like that.

Why does she have Anorexia Nervosa? Well when you study the subject as we have, you see that there are many possible reasons.

In Juliet’s case the most obvious one, is bullying at primary school, because of being overweight. Every day she was taunted. The bullying was ruthless and relentless. Juliet is sensitive. The hurt is deep and solid.

Juliet is chronically anorexic. It started when she was 11. Of course she has had a number of therapies over the years, but at the beginning of 2004 it was obvious she was deteriorating quickly. She needed to be in a residential clinic for Eating Disorder patients.

Where were we to go?

There was Princess Margaret Hospital in Christchurch, which does have an Outpatients’ Department, but only has 6.5 in-patient beds. It has a good reputation. At the beginning of 2004 we were told by two GPs that she would not get in, because she didn’t reach Princess Margaret’s criteria for admittance. In particular she wasn’t resident in Christchurch then.

Ashburn Clinic is private with a good reputation. We believe, however, that eating disorder patients are treated with other mental health clients. We understand the cost is about $100,000 a year.

We understand there was a small clinic for some Wellington patients, but it struggles to stay afloat.

The Auckland Eating Disorder Unit, which is for out-patients, had a waiting list, even for chronic patients, like Juliet.

We therefore had to make a decision, which we did, after Juliet researched centres around the World.

A Way Forward

In June of 2004 Juliet went to the Monte Nido Centre for Eating Disorder sufferers in Malibu, California. There are many such clinics in the United States. Most US citizens, who attend, do so under their health insurance, but of course we didn’t have American health insurance, so we paid for her, with help from her Grandmother. The costs were considerable.

Altogether Juliet spent 4 months at Monte Nido. She also went to their transition centre and spent some time living in the community, receiving therapy and medical, psychiatric and dietary advice.

Her treatment so far, has cost more than $400,000. We had to re mortgage several times to do this.

Juliet made significant progress at the clinic, but she needed longer, to be fully armed against this disease. We didn’t, however, have the money to keep her there any longer.

Carolyn Costin, the director, is a gifted person, an expert on the subject. Juliet has a special connection with Carolyn and thinks of Monte Nido as her spiritual home. Carolyn has written a number of books and is asked to lecture world wide. The treatment there is the best. Monte Nido Eating Disorders Treatment Centre is not a holiday camp for privileged rich girls. It is a place where the sufferers are given hope and are inspired to work hard to recover.

The therapists are highly qualified. All have recovered from eating disorders themselves.

Who is this Juliet?

She is a gifted young woman, intelligent warm and funny. She cares for her friends and is constantly helping them. Her friends love her. She has enormous empathy for those who are going through their own problems.

She is a talented actor who would love to get back into acting again. She was taking part in a Meisner acting course in Auckland, but unfortunately she became too ill to remain in Auckland and returned to Christchurch. She had to abandon the one thing she loved. The director described her work as phenomenal. She virtually grew up on the Repertory stage in Christchurch.

She has strong organizational skills. She has directed and produced fashion shows for NZ Fashion Week and the Janome Youth Fashion Show. Her creative flair is obvious. Her gift for working with people and getting the best from them has been noted.
She has worked for a record company promoting a young singer and organizing gigs.
She is a wonderful cook and has helped a friend with her catering company.

Before Juliet returned from the States she was managing to eat and live a relatively normal life in Malibu. She had therapy and help from the Monte Nido community, if she needed it. She got a nasty tummy bug and after this she found it difficult to eat again. Unfortunately, back in New Zealand, she relapsed.

Plunged into Crisis

Juliet was rushed to Auckland Hospital over Easter to be re-hydrated. Her pulse was slow, her blood pressure low, her heart rate was sluggish and her kidneys were stressed.
She begged the doctors not to tell her what her weight was, but unfortunately one of the doctors left her weight lying around on a piece of paper. She hasn’t known her weight for seventeen years. It was a little more than she anticipated. This knowledge could be enough to reduce her calories even further. She has been in hospital three times since then, for the same treatment.

She eventually received some help from the over-worked Auckland Eating Disorders’ Centre, after many attempts by her doctor. They agreed that she needed more concentrated help than they were able to give. Princess Margaret Hospital in Christchurch is now giving some help, but they agree that trust is a big factor in recovery. Her therapist said that if Juliet were to try a treatment, only to fail, it would set her back even further. She has absolute trust in the director and staff of Monte Nido.
She knows that Monte Nido is the place where she has a chance of recovery. It is obvious what we have to do, somehow raise the money to get her back there.

Eating Disorder victims do not choose to be ill, in the same way that people do not choose to have cancer and yet the lack of understanding in the community is truly akin to the Dark Ages.

If your child had cancer and it was known that the most effective treatment for them was at an expensive clinic, somewhere far away, the community would move heaven and earth to get them there. People would be putting meals on the family’s doorstep, knowing that the family must live with the thought of death every day. It is no different for the sufferer of eating disorders and their families.

We see re entry to Monte Nido as the only way to save Juliet’s life now.

At the Crossroads

Monte Nido’s website says: We believe that our clients need to be turned on to life again and that part of healing is experiencing joy in living.

Juliet says, “I need to be turned on to life again. A fifteen year old who has had an eating disorder for six months, can remember what life was like without her eating disorder, whereas someone who has had it for as long as I have, can’t. I need to be re-programmed and given incentives because otherwise I have no idea what I am fighting for. If I am going to put myself through the torture of gaining weight I need a very good reason, and I need to be reminded of that constantly. Monte Nido does that”.

We do not want our daughter to die.

Lynn and Simon Williams
May 2007

Email: info@savingjuliet.co.nz
Address: The Long Cottage, 10/142 Rugby Street, Christchurch 8014
Phone: 03-355-6303
Mobile: 021-221-0517
Juliet: 021-715-595
Monte Nido Web: www.montenido.com